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I Went Through Clinical Depression And Had Suicidal Thoughts – Robin Uthappa

Robin Uthappa was one of the most promising talents when he bursts on to the scene. However, his career was short lived and he managed to play only 46 ODIs and 13 T20Is for India. Robin Uthappa rued suffering from depression and having suicidal thoughts for a good four-five years as the reason behind his short international career.

A half-century in his first ODI game and the first Indian to score a fifty in T20Is, Uthappa had abundance of talent. His fifty against arch-rivals Pakistan in the 2007 World T20 was a career-defining knock. A stalwart in the domestic cricket, Robin Uthappa averaged over 25 in the ODIs.

I had suicidal thoughts: Robin Uthappa

Despite having the abilities, Robin Uthappa got lost in the mix amid the emergence of Virat Kohli, Shikhar Dhawan. Recently, during a conversation with Cricfit editor Mikkhail Vaswani, the 34-year-old poured his heart out while talking about the difficult period. When asked about his short stint with the Indian team, the cricketer from Karnataka admitted that he had his own challenges off the field.

Robin Uthappa depression
Robin Uthappa

“Yeah sure, my journey has been my own,” Robin Uthappa said. “Every cricketer’s journey has been their own. For me, I have had my challenges off the field. Some of them have taken a toll on my career and it would have been great if it didn’t.

And the reality is it had an impact on me as a human being and it affected me for four or five years. I lost a good four or five years trying to address the way I was feeling. Mentally and emotionally, I was in a very bad place. I was suicidal for a couple of years between 2009 and 2011. I wanted to give up the game in 2011 and 2012 and a lot of people helped me during that time guiding me in the right direction. They helped me rediscover my passion for the game,” he added. 

Staying alive at that point was important: Robin

Adding further, Robin Uthappa credited his wife and former India cricketer Pravin Amre for helping him get over the mental depression. The batsman, who now plies his trade for Kerala in domestic cricket, also admitted that staying alive for was the most important thing in his life.

Robin Uthappa
Robin Uthappa

“Sheetal (Robin’s wife), and Pravin Amre had a huge impact to rediscover my passion. I owe a lot to both of them for playing those roles during that point in time. I felt nobody understood me at that point and nobody to lean back on which had a massive impact on my career,” the cricketer added. 

“For me, staying alive at that point in time was more important than anything else. Due to all this, I lost good four-five years. In 2008, I was 21 and by the time, I thought again that cricket is an entity where I need succeed in was 2012. Time flew like that. I am glad that I was able to come out of that and people can overcome this problem,” he signed off. 

While Robin Uthappa still awaits an opportunity in international cricket, he has made a massive impact in the IPL. He played a significant role in helping Kolkata Knight Riders in 2014. Currently, Robin is with the Rajasthan Royals in the IPL and will hope to shine with the bat and strengthen his claim to make a comeback.


Ankush Das

I am an accountant by qualification, my parents thought their obedient son would study further to become a CA, but I had other things in mind. An ardent Cricket fan is following his passion and making a living watching and working around his favourite sport.
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