Virat Kohli recently shared his emotional experience of playing his first match against Pakistan during the 2009 Champions Trophy in South Africa. He wasn’t initially part of the squad and was only called in as a last-minute replacement for Yuvraj Singh, who suffered a finger injury.
Kohli recalled, “They used to tell me, keep your suitcase with you, keep your clothes packed and keep your passport on you at all times. I was always a standby, so they called me over. I was in Bangalore, actually. They asked me to fly over immediately.”
Kohli had already made his debut in Sri Lanka but was left out when Sachin Tendulkar returned. The match against Pakistan came just three days after he landed in South Africa, and it turned out to be a turning point in his mindset.
Fear of Failure and Self-Doubt
In that match, Virat Kohli managed to score only 16 runs. He got out trying to hit Shahid Afridi for a six but ended up getting caught. It was a crucial moment in the match, and India lost. The pressure of the high-stakes game and the disappointment of his performance deeply affected him.
Kohli said, “So when I went over, the very next game I played was in Pakistan in three days. That was my first India-Pakistan game.”
He continued, “I think about scored about 16 or something. I tried to hit Shahid Afridi for a six straight down the ground in Centurion, and I got caught. We lost that game. It was an important moment in the game, and my heart was beating so fast throughout that whole innings.”
The loss and his performance left him filled with fear and uncertainty about his future with the national team.
Sleepless Night and Inner Struggle
The aftermath of the match was emotionally overwhelming for Kohli. He couldn’t sleep and kept thinking about how he might have ruined his opportunity.
He shared, “I just could not process everything that happened within a span of four days. And I remember us losing that game because it was a big loss. I just could not sleep. I stayed awake until five in the morning, staring at the ceiling. I was like, ‘This is it.’ I’ve been called after a year, and I’ve just messed it up. I don’t know how this is going to shape up.”
Despite these feelings, Kohli explained that he had to battle through self-doubt and gradually rebuild his confidence by staying focused on the present.
“I had a lot of moments like that where I really, really doubted myself and had to again kind of recalibrate and find a way to slowly build up again and just try to focus on what is in front of me and what might go wrong in whatever amount of time.”
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